God grant me peace and understanding

Sunday morning I came into the office and checked my messages and email and saw some sad news. Two people had passed away. The first one was a friends mother. She has been battling cancer and we have been praying for her recovery for so long. She was such a sweet person and I was able to meet her last year. I have to say I was so blessed by meeting her and even though it was for a short time, I saw such a lovely woman who had so much joy in her heart. You couldn’t even tell she was sick by the way she acted or even by looking at her. I cannot imagine what her family is going through.

The next thing I heard was that the radio personality, Kidd Kraddick, from Dallas died. That was another shock to me! Even though I had never met him, I had listened to his morning show since I was young. I want to say 10 years old… I really missed Kidd’s morning show because I wasn’t able to hear it in Canada, but I would try to keep in touch with what’s been going on with the show randomly through their website. So hearing that he died at the age of 53 was such a shock! I really enjoyed his morning show because he was funny and always cheered me up in the morning as I was getting ready for work and driving to work. When I was in Dallas I would listen from 7 AM-10 AM almost every morning to the Kidd Kraddick show! I know alot of people are sad because he has made a tremendous impact on many people’s lives and has helped so many chronically ill children through his charity Kid’s Kids.

Hearing about these two deaths, I sat almost paralyzed in the office thinking of these two people.

I remember as a child I would hear somebody died and it really didn’t affect me so much. These days I hear death and I feel very sad and sometimes at a loss of what I should think or feel. It’s not that I am scared of death because I know where I will be after I die, but just that I see myself getting older. I know people who are older than me will say O you’re still young, but the last few years I have had this weird feeling every time I hear somebody that I know died. When I was young, I would look forward to growing up and being older. Now that I am getting older I think to myself, how will I be when I am this age or at this age. Will I still be alive? I know these are not questions I should think about, but I just can’t help myself. Whenever I see an older person who walks slow or has trouble walking, I think in my head, is that how I will be? I don’t know if these thoughts are normal or am I just doing my usual over analysis of things.

I don’t know if this post will make sense to anybody, but it is just some feelings/thoughts that have been running through my head. Right now, I pray for God to give peace to those who are in mourning and feeling so helpless and sad because of the loss of a loved one.

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